Tenny

For those of you who do not already know, I have a brother in federal prison. His name is Tenny. He has been there for a year and has nine more to go.

This past weekend, I visited him for the first time.

It was about a 4 hour drive from where I live. I stayed over night on Friday so that I was fresh and first in line on Saturday. Visiting hours are from 9-3 on Saturdays. He knew I was coming so he would be ready as well. My cousins Jocelyn and Zachary went with me as well.

The trip out was interesting! I used mapquest to get the shortest route possible. My family was telling me to go another way, but I decided to stick with mapquest...never again! We were taken on the most backwards roads imaginable! We could do nothing but laugh at how remote our drive out was!

Finally, we arrived at our hotel, just 5minutes before the pool closed. The whole day we had been looking forward to jumping into the pool when we got to the hotel and wouldn't you know, we just missed it!

Saturday morning we all woke up bright and early got ourselves ready. We ate at the free hotel breakfast and stuffed ourselves as much as we could. We were told that there were only vending machines with junk food in the visiting center and we didn't want to have to eat any of it. Besides, we wanted to save our money to feed Tenny. He doesn't get any treats, like soda, so we wanted to be able to buy him whatever he wanted.

So, we were told to be at the visiting center at about 815am, so we wouldn't have to wait in line-and we did. We headed down the road to the prison and made it there at about 820. When we checked in we were told it was going to be a 2 hour wait to get in. We were frustrated but there wasn't much we could do...so we waited. We also noticed that everyone had all these packages for their family members who were inside. We were told that we couldn't bring him anything...so I asked the lady at the desk and she said we could and gave us a list of acceptable items. Excited, we rushed down the street to the local convenient store and bought as much snack food as we could get our hands on. The two hour wait was worth it once he saw what we were bringing in for him...or so we thought.

Finally, our number was called. We made our way through security and all the locked doors and finally came to the guards. They asked for Tenny's ID number and we gladly gave it to them. "Oh, this isn't right" they said.

"What? What do you mean? Please don't tell me I can't see my brother today!"

"This is a federal ID number ma'am, and you're at the state prison...the federal prison is just down the road."

OMG!! I thought I was going to die right there. You only get 6 hours to visit and I had just wasted almost 2 of them in the wrong place! I was infuriated but all three of us quickly ran out of the place and headed down the road. Just as they said, the right place was there, waiting for us.

So, of course, no line at the federal facility. We pretty much went right in after going through security. It was intimidating. I was so nervous. Nervous about what he was going to look like, how the visiting center would be, nervous about whether he thought we weren't actually coming and did something else that day. (prisoners are only aloud to move at certain times-once they are in a place they have to stay there until they are told otherwise) Oh, and by the way...no packages aloud!

We stepped into the center. It was like a cafeteria. When we arrived, it was filled with people...and very loud. We were shown were to sit and we did just that. Then, came Tenny! I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. I clapped and jumped out of my seat and gave him the biggest hug I could muster! It felt so good. He looks terrific!

4 hours flew by in the blink of an eye. Conversation between the 4 of us rolled on easily! He drank 3 sodas, ate some Cheetos, a milky way and a bacon-egg sandwich while we were there. The three of us stuck to our plan and didn't eat anything.

It was so good to see him. I am a very emotional person and I did really well until the end. When the guard called visiting time to be over and separated inmates and visitors on each end of the center I began to break down. I couldn't take my eyes of Tenny...I wanted to saviour every second of being in the same room with him. When he looked at me from across the center and tapped his heart, the tears started flowing...and seconds later my cousins and I were taken by guards back through the locked doors.

I miss Tenny, dearly. Words cannot fully express how elated I was to finally sit a foot away from him and talk and to be able to hug him!

After our visit, Jocelyn called my mom and got some other directions home which proved to be much easier. Now that I've done the trip once, next time will be ten times easier! I'm looking forward to going again. I plan on visiting about 3 times a year.

And, I am truly so thankful that my cousins went with me. They had been wanting to visit Tenny anyway and they kept the trip fun and filled with laughter the whole time. It left little time to be sad about the situation and for that I'm grateful.

Unbelievable!

I HATE SNOW! (Especially in May!)

Thank goodness it was gone before morning.

Baby Brain

Lately, I've been feeling like I live in baby central. It seems everywhere I turn, someone is having a baby. 2 women at work have daughters who just had a baby (see 3peasinbrooklyn for more detail on this), my best friend, Laura is pregnant, our neighbor is pregnant, Seth-the NP at work is about to have a baby. Babies...babies everywhere.

To be honest, I'm feeling a little left out. Seeing all these pictures of newborns, hearing labor stories, feeling the excitement of expectant mothers all really makes me want another baby of my own.

Eric and I tried to have another the end of last year and it didn't happen. After those few months, we stopped trying. In fact, now we are careful not to get pregnant. I don't really know what changed. It sort of just became a bad idea for the present time. Eric is concerned about space in our current house-he really wants to wait until we build. We haven't been able to sell-so it seems like a new house is so distant.

There are times, when Aiden is being difficult especially, that I think "I'm crazy to want another child-how could I ever extend myself like that"...but then, there are times when I am hit by the baby bug so hard it almost brings me to tears. Right now, I'm being hit.

When people ask me if we are ever going to have another baby all I can bring myself to do is grumble. I kind of roll my eyes and look at them like "I'm just trying not to mess up the first one"-but the truth is, yeah, I do want another one-I just don't know when the time is right. Sometimes the time is right now, but others it definitely is not. I'm feeling quite torn.

I absolutely want Aiden to have a sibling. I think he would be happier in the future if he had a brother or sister. I'm afraid that he will grow up lonely-I always hear only childs talk about how much they wish they had a sibling. But how far apart should they be?

Another reason that it seems to enticing to have another child is that Aiden is so much fun...I'm loving being his mother and watching him learn and grow. I don't want it to be over...ever...so, if I have another one, I can prolong this time in my life! And besides, the grandparents will stop asking when the next one is coming!

Anyway, I have a terrible case of baby brain lately and I'm not sure I'm ready for it.

Mom

Happy Mothers Day!


I have such a wonderful Mom and I feel so lucky to have her. She is strong in ways that I cannot fathom. Her patience is something I have longed to have. Her devotion to her children is insurmountable and she has the biggest heart of anybody I know. My mom is a beautiful person.

There have been many times throughout my life that I didn't understand, or fully know, where I was headed and although I faulted myself heavily, she never did. She has encouraged me to move forward and do what I felt was right, even if it turned out not to be the best decision. She has been able to let me live and learn, yet always kept me striving for the best. I credit my mom with teaching me tolerance, patience and acceptance. She may not realize this, but it's thanks to her that I am able to step in others people shoes per se. My mom isn't one to jump to conclusions. I have rarely ever seen her burst out in anger...she has always sort of analyzed each tough situation and tried to find solutions, rather than accuse or blame. She is very optimistic. I think that's one of her best attributes. Through most any situation, you'll always find my mom with a warm, inviting, beautiful smile.

Mom-we've worked hard to mother all of us and you've always given your best. I love you and I hope you had a great day, spent exactly the way you wanted it.

Bridal Shower

My cousin, Heidi, is getting married on June 17th in Reno. Her wedding is going to be very small and exactly what her and her fiance, Pat, wants. It is so exciting to see how happy they both are to be getting married and devoting the rest of their lives to each other. They seem to fit together perfectly and for that I am so glad.

So, Heidi's mom, Wanda and our Gram, along with some help from the rest of the family, organized a fantastic bridal shower for her. It was a lot of fun. Of course, it was a casino theme-Heidi and is not a traditional bridal shower kind of girl...I think she really loved it! She was completely surprised too which is always so exciting for everyone! Her and Pat made out pretty well on their loot too! Lots of great stuff!

After the shower games and gifts and a few people cleared out, some of us stayed and played some cards games together (and did a bit of drinking!). We had a blast and it was so much fun to be with all the women of my family. My grandparents had three girls, my mom Mary, Heidi's mom Wanda and Teresa. Each girl had one daughter of her own. So, we were all there together. Our "aunt" Linda was also there. Technically, Linda is a cousin-in-law...but we call her our aunt. And Pat was also there! The only guy until Linda's husband Darryll came over too. I think he liked being around all the women!

There was something so comforting about hanging out with all the women in my family. I think it's really special! Three generations laughing, bonding, being a family. I'm very lucky to have them all.

Congratulations Heidi and Pat! *And, please, let us know when you are serious! ; )

Planting Roots

A friend at work gave me some of her rhubarb today and I was thrilled! I love rhubarb. Strawberry-rhubarb pie is the best!

So, tonight, we all went out to our land and planted our new rhubarb! Aiden brought his new plastic shovel from his birthday and was ready to dig!

Hopefully, by the end of the Summer, we'll have a nice big patch! Obviously, strawberry-rhubarb pie is my first thought, but I've got to research some more things I can do with it. The great tart taste of rhubarb is really unique and there have got to be some good recipes out there. I'm pretty psyched though-it's the first thing we've planted on our land! Yay!

By the way-our house is for sale on ebay right now. For those of you who don't know-we've been trying to sell our house for 3 straight summers in hopes of building a new house on our land. We've been unable to sell so far. But, on ebay, we've had 1800 viewers and have 15 watchers with 2 days left! Wish us luck...I think we might need it!

Bedtime

I thought it was called the terrible twos! Aiden is exactly 3 years and one day now, isn't he supposed to be magically returning to my sweet little angel? Yeah, that's what I thought!

We're having quite the time trying to get Aiden to stay in bed lately. Earlier this week he kept coming out of room and running through the house and he just would not go to bed. We tried reasoning, we tried yelling, we tried taking away his precious bear and blanket...nothing was working. He thought it was funny. In fact, it got to the point where he actually handed me his bear and blanket and kept on running through the house..."Here you go Mommy"... Eric hardly ever raises his voice to Aiden and it got to the point where Eric actually yelled at him. Aiden went to bed after that, but the behavior continued the next night...we can't be yelling at him and fighting with him every night.

Eric and I needed a new plan. We were feeling defeated. So, we sat down a couple days ago after 2 terrible hours of trying to get Aiden to bed and came up with a new plan of action. We figure that Aiden is using bedtime to get more attention, even though it's negative attention, it's still attention. So, we had to start ignoring him as much as possible. This isn't easy when he's screaming your name and crying and beating on his walls! And, the only way to be able to completely ignore him is to make him stay in his room. But how do we do this when we can't lock his door and obviously, we can't just tell him to stay put? Luckily, I had two baby gates on hand...so have put them across his door, one on top of the other, for the past two nights. Now, he can't get out of room. We leave the hall light on, so he some light and doesn't get scared of the dark. I think this is helping, but he's still being quite difficult. Even as I write this, he is standing at the gates, pressing his face through the holes and crying at the top of his lungs. I am trying my hardest to keep ignoring him...he'll fall asleep eventually, right?! It's heart breaking, but what else can we do?

Tonight, when I put up the gates, he immediately started crying and pleading with me to take them down, but I know I can't or we'll spend hours putting him back in his bed. We give him positive feedback about staying in his bed, such as, Aiden-you're doing fine, it's time for bed now. You're a big boy now, time for sleep-it's time to stay in your room. Every time we leave his room we say, "I love you". Tonight, through his tears he pouted, "I love you too Mommy". Awe...I'm just trying to teach him that we mean business and he needs to listen.

I have asked the girls at work about what they have done to get their kids to stay in bed. One women locked her kids in their room, another one actually turned their kid's crib upside down and kept her kid in there. I certainly haven't tried that!

I feel so bad. I wish he would just listen. After we read stories, I want him to just snuggle down in his bed, stay there, and go to sleep. It's not the way it is. According to my mom, I was exactly like Aiden and never stayed in bed either...revenge?!

Okay, so he's been crying at the gates for almost an hour now...I feel like I shouldn't ignore him any longer.

Any more suggestions?

3!

Man, it's been a busy week. But, today was all fun! It was Aiden's 3rd birthday party! I can't believe he's three all ready. Sounds like a cliche, but it really does seem like yesterday when I held him in my arms for the first time.

The party was meant to be outdoors, but it rained all weekend. Our house is on the small side, so it was definitely crowded with all our family gathered in, but we had a great time.

I think Aiden was slightly overwhelmed at certain points. He didn't blow his candle out, he had some help from his cousins. But, once he got going he had a blast.

His friend Kristin, from school, came over.

Most of Aiden's cousins came to play as well. This is Hayden. Tryphon, Zephryn, Lyli, Shelby and Kiele also joined us.

He got some clothes, books, a bowling set, outdoor rake and shovel, a golf set, soccer ball and net, fishing pole, tractors, matchbox cars...

a Diego rescue center...

some tools...

he made out pretty well!

Sometimes, I think I'm having more fun than Aiden, seeing everyone joined together, people are laughing and and clapping. Aiden is in his element with tons of attention and fun presents! We got some pictures and good home video! I love being a Mommy! It's so much fun!

Happy Birthday Aiden!