Losing

This past week has been filled with sorrow. A true tragedy has overwhelmed the office at which I work. One of our beloved physicians passed away due to a severe head injury he acquired while cutting wood on his family's land.

His name was Dr John Elliott. He was inspiring to so many people. He was a shy, unassuming individual. So kind and gentle. His heart was so warm. When he spoke to you, you felt like you had his full attention, no matter how rushed he might actually be. That's one of the reasons why his patients loved him so much. John always looked on the bright side of life, he never let life's tribulations get in the way. I never once saw him angry or even upset, he always wore a gentle smile.

I feel lucky to have worked with him and to have known him. I think anyone who knew John, feels lucky to have known him. He was just that kind of person. When over 1000 people come to your funeral, you know you are one very special person.

I am always so humbled by how much death will show us perspective on life. One day, the people we love are there, in front of us, talking to us, smiling at us....and the next, it can be taken away. No more does that ache in my knee matter, no more does the fact that Eric didn't put the toilet seat down matter...there are more important things in life. Things like cherishing the people you love, admire and respect everyday. Things like saying what ever you need to say to people and holding nothing back. Things like loving other people to the fullest and letting yourself be loved as well. It becomes so obvious in times of loss. I think we all look back and think about should-haves and could-haves. We say to ourselves that we learn from losing. We say we will learn to cherish those around us. It's not forgetting those lessons that seem to be difficult.

Losing John so suddenly, I think about his children-who are grown. I can relate to them. I have never spoke a word to his children or his wife, even at his service, but somehow, at this time, I feel like I know them. I understand their hurt. It is too difficult to face. It brings me back to the day my father died so unexpectedly. It hurts. And, I find myself grieving, not only for John, for his family, for his patients, for my co-workers, but also for my father and myself.

Today, at work, the stillness has begun to rise. The initial sorrow is dissipating. Laughter begins to fill the halls once again...and this is the way it should be. "To all things, there is a season..." as the saying goes.

Good-bye John. You will be missed.

*for a picture of John and I, see posting titled "Relay for Life" in June